


Like Silent Raindrops

by orphan_account



Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: Angst, F/M, Secret Relationship, Sexual Surrogate, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-01
Updated: 2012-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's just Alex and Bobby, silent and loving in the dark.  Sometimes they invite their ghosts: Nicole Wallace or Joseph Dutton.  Then they're not so silent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Silent Raindrops

They don’t do this often. But when they do, it’s usually silent, but no less loving for the silence. Given what they say when they do talk during this, it’s _more _loving when it’s silent. The silent times are (mostly) about two things that should be incompatible: their friendship and their raw need.__

__But it’s the friendship, the caring, that lets them come together when the need rises, raw and urgent but never ugly. Not like the stories they’ve heard about the Special Victims Unit detectives. Alex stills shudders when she thinks about what Jeffries told her; the things Jeffries did, the risks she took, because the job drove her to depths of need that no one should ever have to plumb. With Bobby, it’s different: urgent, sometimes desperate, but always with an undertone of caring and concern. An occasional whisper: “Are you sure?” or “May I?” but usually not even that._ _

__Except sometimes it goes beyond that. Sometimes the whisper will be “Can you…be her?” And Alex pulls an accent out from almost nowhere, part Australian, part English, all silky malevolence. And she’s her for an hour or more. Sometimes she taunts him until he pins her down, holding her in place with his weight, his strength. He covers her with the gentlest of kisses, trying to tame the woman she isn’t with all the tenderness he holds inside._ _

__Other times, she tells him what happened to her, the her that isn’t really her. In Australia, in Thailand. Gives him details. Thankfully, the details don’t excite him. Instead, he holds her, again sharing the tenderness he has so much of, his hands trembling as he soothes her skin, touches her hair, arousing her, then satisfying her while he himself remains quiescent._ _

__And sometimes she asks for the quid pro quo. Except she doesn’t ask, not really. She tells, commands. “Be him,” she’ll whisper harshly in the dark, and he’ll roll over for her, let her hit him again and again and again, sometimes with her hand, sometimes with his own belt, demanding an explanation from him, demanding, over and over again, to know, “Why did you leave me?” All he can say is he didn’t want to, he couldn’t help it, how much he wants to come back. Eventually, she’ll have sobbed out her rage, taken it out on his skin, and he’ll hold her and when she asks, “Does it ever get better?” all he can say is that he doesn’t know._ _

__And she actually likes that answer, because, there in the darkness, where it’s just the two (four) of them, she knows it’s the hardest truth for him to admit to: that there are some things he doesn’t know, probably will never know._ _

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who watches "Criminal Intent" but not "Special Victims Unit," Detective Monique Jeffries served in the Special Victims Unit in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Because of the stress of the job, she engaged in risky personal behavior, including having a one night stand with an exonerated suspect in a rape case she had investigated. When she told the department psychologist about this, she was told she had to either take a desk job or transfer out of SVU. She took the transfer.


End file.
